Not What They Appear
by Happyangstywriter
Summary: What do you when you save someone believing them one way, and finding out they are something entirely different? Do you crush their already fragile undead heart? 1st Xangel
1. Chapter 1

Hello everybody! So I first want to say, this is my first Angel/Xander story. It is AU. In fact very Au. Spike will be Angel's sire, Angel was not turned at 27, but 18. Darla was Spike's sire, and Drusilla was sired by Spike as well. Spike in this story is a lot like Angelus. So expect unnecessary brutality pouring out of him. Angel is certainly not very confident in himself, and is in love with Spike, but Spike hates him. Also, Angel is still a fledge, he is only 4 in vampiric years. not violent, and has been abused his life and afterlife. Oh not to mention, he was accident by Spike. Angel was never meant to be turned, but wound up turned. Buffy has it it out for Xander.

I know this looks like a mess, but don't worry, I will make it work. I think that had about summed it up though. Eventual Xangel. Lots of sex, language, bloodplay, and mentions of rape and torture. If this offends, please push _back_ and pretend you never clicked on me. But, if if ths doesn't, we are both in for a wild ride, because I honestly am very nervous about this idea of mine. But I will make it work! This is MA definately. Oh and yeah, I own none of the charecters just the way I am using them here.

But other than this, please enjoy this story! I am having fun writing it so far. And if you like it, don't like it, or think it is just okay...please push the reply button and tell me what you think!

Angsty ;-)

**Not What They Appear**

Skin slid against skin, desperately trying to get closer-to melt into one another's body. Moans were heard ominously throughout their self-created, world away from the world, with heavy dark drapes enclosing them inside. A dark haired head is thrown back into the soft pillows, as he gasps with the sudden feeling of intrusion into his most sacred of parts. He has been in this position so many times. He begins to spread his legs further and arch his back higher to get the appendage infiltrating his body to go in deeper. He turns his face to the side as his master sucks and kisses down the white column of his neck and breathes hot air over the saliva. He shudders. Another moan is heard, but not from him. It's from his master as he commands his sub to moan louder, be more insistent, to beg for the mercy he won't be receiving.

He complies. For what else should he do? He loves the looming creature above him with all of his undead heart, and he would walk into the sun if his master told him too. But no one was allowed to know this. He wasn't allowed to speak of their activities. His master said it ruined the foreplay. Problem in that logic was they never had foreplay. His master shows up, he strips, they fuck, and his master leaves a bloody, sore, and emotionally injured vampire in his wake. He knew the real reason. His master was ashamed of him. Ashamed to have such a love sick, panting, whore as his-what? - Mate? No. The dark-haired man-pire knew very well he would never please his master enough to be granted _that_ honor.

Instead he is left with this.

His master is panting hard now, even though he lacks the need to breathe. He desperately wants to call him Sire, instead of Master, but his master has more than once iterated he was an accident. He wasn't meant to be a childe, he was meant to be a minion. His master insists he wasn't turned right to be a childe of his, not to mention he would never pick such a weak, pathetic, useless whore to be within his Order's main progeny. He gets told and reminded of this in several ways. Not just the blunt words, but the shoves in the hallway when he was in the way, the disdain in his master's 'clan members' eyes when they are around him, the last choice in food- even to the pets!

But he doesn't care.

He doesn't care because he loves his Sire-slap!-oops. He said Sire out loud.

His master is going at a bruising, unforgiving pace now, that is sure to tear his anus. He stifles the urge to cry out from the pain. It hurts, but he deserves it because he broke the rules. He's not supposed to say Sire. When you call someone a Sire, that means you are intimately involved-not to mention, the one you call that is the one who turned you. Where he was sure both of those things applied to him somewhere- don't know where the pain is too much -he wasn't privy to that.

His master finishes with a snarl as he sinks his fangs into his sub's shoulder hard and deep to keep him aware of his infraction for a few days. His master then pulls out, and sits up on the bed staring down at his practically balling sub. He mentally snickers.

"There, there, Peaches," Spike coos to the body below ridged from protecting what it could after the rough sex. He stroked his face gently before softly telling a lie in a serious voice. "I won't hurt ye now Angel. You learned yer lesson, yeah?"

Angel cautiously looked up to Spike. "Yes." He said in a choked voice.

A hard slap and startled whimper followed by the sound dry wall cracking from a body being thrown into it was heard. Angel huddled into the nearest corner doing his best to escape his master's wrath.

"Did I say ye could speak?" Spike roared.

Angel shook his head no as tears began to escape his eyes.

"What? Now ye got nothin' ta say?" he stalked forward and Angel made the mistake of throwing his arms up in defense. Spike snarled and picked him up by the neck regardless before slamming the body into the wall. "Ye will learn ta respect me boy! I will not be havin' a disgruntled vampire in me courts!"

Angel gasped as best he could with the grip around his neck. Even with the lack of need for breath, it still hurt like a son of a bitch. He tried to speak but his head was bashed back into the wall, he did cry out then.

"Now ye got somethin' ta say? Huh?" Spike yelled. Angel started crying and tried his best to keep from wiggling. Spike felt the tears hit his hand and smiled sadistically. "Ye need to remember boy, yer nothin'. Absolutely nothin' ta me. Hell, I even found ye alive nothin'. Just a pathetic, worthless stripper at a gay bar. Disowned by his own flesh and blood cuz he was just so useless and lazy…and a whore."

Angel whimpered with the tears falling harder. His master was right. He was absolutely nothing.

Spike leaned in, brushing their noses together in a new sense of affection. Angel's eyes fell shut. Maybe just maybe his master… "Ye disgust me." Spike says and throws Angel by the neck across the room. He leaves laughing at Angel's prone figure and slams the door.

Angel lies crying what feels like hours but is merely minutes. Yes, it's always like this. Never a reprieve from the hell that his whole being. He gets mocked by all, used by all, and then thrown to the side by all. Spike, his master/sire, was right. He held no value to anyone. Everyone would always treat him like this. The pretty words only went so long before they come back and snap his neck.

All Angel wanted was for his master love him as much as he loved his master. He honestly couldn't tell you why he loved him. Just that he did. But then, that's how it always is right? He falls for the person and their pretty promises, gives himself over, and then gets burned. He was only convenient.

But he wished, hoped, and prayed he could find someone-anyone that would love him for him; and not what pleasure his body could give.

******************************************************************************

"Hey, Xander!" Buffy called from across the school yard. Xander turned to the side to give her a smile. When she didn't return it, he got worried.

"What's wrong, Buff?" he asks while she grabs him by the arm and practically drags him to the library. "I'm guessing…demon?" he whispers the last word because of all of the students buzzing around.

She just nods, and he says, "However much I would like not having to walk everywhere, you don't have to basically carry me you know?"

She just scowls and he sighs. So she's in one of her moods then. He muses.

When they reach their destination she drops his arm and lets him walk the rest of the way. Damn, that slayer strength gave me bruise. He mentally curses while flexing the muscle to get the blood back pumping.

"Xander, Buffy, good that you arrived." Giles muttered before dropping a big load of research books on the table.

"It's not like I had much of a choice, G-man, she drug me here." Xander griped while sitting down.

"So I observed." Giles said also taking a seat.

Buffy sighed while taking a spot as well. She observed Xander with revulsion. The boy was a menace to her Scoobies, and she did not for the life of her understand why Giles insisted on having him around. She scowled once more in his direction as he happily greets Willow, Oz, and Cordelia once they enter. Something has to be done about him.

"So, Giles, what's new for the Demon Populace?" She says with a fake airy tone. Willow gives her a warning look, but she brushes it off.

"Yes, moving past our pleasantries, Cordelia, be a dear and lock the doors. Willow, go into my office and get my closed sign and hang it. Oh and Oz, please dim the lights." Everyone that was called did as instructed, before coming back to sit down. "Now, we have a situation with vampires. It appears there is a clan moving into town."

"Damn, another one?" Xander asked sounding extremely put out.

"Refrain from using such words in my library, Mr. Harris." Giles scolded. Buffy smirked.

"Sorry, it's just we cleared out a nest-what? – A week ago?" he asks the room.

"Yeah, but you know how the baddies are, Xander- don't give up till the fat lady sings!" Willow says trying inject some laughter.

Xander groans. "Well maybe I should put on sixty pounds, chop off my balls, and sing so every 'baddie' as you say goes away…no scratch that. I need that appendage."

Oz takes his turn to smirk and repress laughter. Willow blushes with his guileless words and Buffy rolls her eyes. What an ass. She thinks. It was Cordelia that decided to respond to that.

"Sorry, Xander, but they fell off a long time ago; and as far as weight's concerned you aren't far off the beaten path to super-fats-um in opera." She snickers.

"Bite me." He growls.

"You wish." She replies.

"Children focus." Giles reprimanded. "The Order's name is Aurielus. It is most famously known for containing the Scourge of Europe - William the Blood, the Slayer of Slayers, also referred to as Spike, Drusilla seer of all secrets, childe of Spike, and Darla the Master of the Order's childe - sire of Spike. It has also been reported as close as four years ago, Spike _accidentally _sired a new childe. His name is unknown and his vampiric activity is non-existent, so everyone believes he staked him."

"Spike would stake his own childe? That's terrible, I mean, I am not trying to sound like, umm I'm switching sides or something but…aren't chliders held on grand pedestals by their sire?" Willow cut in.

"Well I wouldn't know the answer to that completely, Willow, but I also said it what speculated. Nobody knows what happened to that childer, or what his name even is. So it is possible-…"

"He's alive and being trained during all of this time to be a super-killing vamp. We stake him after staking the rest." Came Buffy's response in a bored tone.

"No, Buffy, I believe what would have happened is-…"

"He staked himself, because of being disowned as a real childer." Cordelia cut off looking quite pleased with herself for coming up with that answer.

"No. I don't believe he is dead at all…or dead again, anyway." Giles started.

"So I am right?" Buffy asked.

"NO! Everyone, quiet and let me speak!" Giles shouted everyone instantly shut up. "Thank you. What I believe happened was, he was-like Cordelia said- disowned as a real childer; but I think he is being treated as a minion and therefore is directly under our noses. But, I also believe he is no real threat to us."

"Every vampire is a threat." Was Buffy's automatic response.

"Well, if G-man thinks it's safe, guess we are going vamp hunting tonight." Came Xander's response.

"Wonderful. Before I graduate high school, I am going to hit the Guinness World Records champion spot for best story teller to a dry cleaning business." Cordelia grumbled while rummaging through her purse to find her compact.

"Yes, well, I'm sure you can afford a new dry cleaner, Miss Chase." Giles said sardonically.

"So not the point." She muttered.

"Well then, I will see you all after school so we can start planning our attack. Get to class."

Everyone mumbled about how much they didn't want to go, but Xander stayed behind a moment. He felt something. A pull in his heart, like someone was calling to him. Like someone needed him desperately, but he didn't know who. He looked around a moment, and he heard a faint noise. Two words. Save me. But save who? Or really save what? Who was trying to contact him, and why? He walked to the door, and was about to leave when Giles asked, "Mr. Harris are you alright?"

He looked up and replied, "Yeah, just have this feeling."

"Like what kind of feeling?" Giles asked ardently while shuffling papers and coming over to him.

"Like someone is trying to get me to save them. But I don't know who…or what. But I heard the words save me, and I feel this intense emotional pain that isn't my own. But I also don't at the same time, it's like it glitters back and forth."

"Hmm." Giles cleans his glasses. "Have you felt this before?"

"Once. Last might. But it wasn't this…powerful. But like I said, it's also not there. I don't know maybe I'm just crazy. I'll see you later, G-man." Xander says and opens the door to leave.

"But Mr. Harris!..." the door shuts. "…we should discuss this." He finishes with a sigh. "Rupert ol' boy you are just that. Too damned old." He sits and looks at his mound of paperwork. Sighing again he says. "Bugger."

Thanks for reading! Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! Sorry this took so long but I have been uber busy and my muse kept me other ideas then what I wanted as far as stories go, but here is the next installment. I apologize ahead of time if the grammer isn't great. I litterally wrote this in like twenty minutes. But enjoy and as always please review!

Xangel Rocks

Not What They Appear

Chapter 2

Angel was in the main court that evening, skulking in the shadows with a broom and dust pan-avoiding any chance of getting picked to have to speak with the Master. Not his master, but his great grandsire "The Master" of the entire Aurielan Order. He truly despised the vampire, but he was not stupid enough to voice that. Instead he swept the floors that were as far away from his throne as possible and remained looking at only the ground. His plan of avoidance was completely demolished, however, when two of his mortal enemy minions came over to start their usual taunting.

"Hello, Angel." The male brunette, full vamp face showing one purred.

He didn't bother to look his way. It was always easier to deal with, if you pretend it's not there.

The blonde headed woman snickered. "Such a pathetic waste of space. Can't even broom something up right." With that she kicked over his trash bucket. Angel flinched and looked at the bucket in fear. This wasn't going to be an easy time then.

"Oops, you know, Angel; even for such a weak and useless fledge, you should be able clean after your own messes." The brunette gave a cruel smile.

"That would require him to actually be able to do something, Phil." The blonde smirked.

"You're right Leila. Angel would have to actually be able to do something other than get fucked by three quarters of the Order."

"I haven't done that!" Angel mistakenly protested.

Leila and Phil grinned at each other.

"Oh really?" Phil asked while coming to circle him.

Angel gripped the broom tighter, swallowed, and looked down. He shouldn't have answered. This really wasn't going to end well.

"Yeah, really?" Leila joined in.

"How many then, Angel?" Phil asked and pushed him into Leila who caught him as his broom fell. Angel fought the urge to whimper out a 'let me go'. Leila placed her hands under his armpits, trailed them over his chest, over his stomach and down to fiercely grip him through his pants. He did cry out then from the pain.

"Tell us, Angel. How many have you whored yourself to? Surely it's a lot." She hissed.

"Obviously not enough." Phil stated with a cruel smirk. "I mean, how fair is it that everyone else gets a piece, and I haven't had my fair share. You agree Leila?"

"Yes, I do." She purrs and bites his ear. "What do you say we take him to our quarters, Phil, and get our share?" she suggests.

Phil smiles, "It sounds like a great idea. You'd like that, right Angel?" He steps forward.

Angel bites his tongue. He can't say 'no', because when you do that it only makes it worse.

"Of course you would. Because you're nothing but a whore." He brushes past Leila and without turning around said "Let's take him to my room."

Leila hissed a laugh and dragged Angel along with her.

Angel's only thought through the next three hours of intense pain, was "Please someone, _save me_."

* * *

Just before sunset, the Scoobies were gathered in the Library planning their attack on the new nest of vampires - or more so arguing about their point of attack on the new nest of vampires.

"Cordy, that is the stupidest idea I have ever heard!" Xander shouted angrily. He stood up and pushed away from the table even as she continued with it.

"I don't know, Xan, it sounds pretty clever." Willow supplied.

"No, it's stupid. If for only the fact that it came out of _her_ mouth!" he indicates 'her' by pointing an angry finger.

"Oh, good god, already Alexander Harris! Grow the hell up!" Cordy said back.

"I am grown up! Certainly more than you ever will be!"

And so the arguing continued. Giles was watching with an irritated but slightly amused quirk of an eyebrow. He rolls his eyes at the two of them. Teenagers. He thinks miserably.

"It's simple, dick head! We separate! Giles has figured out their vantage point! Why not maximize it?! We have two people on that, and the rest inside taking out as many fledges as possible. You will check rooms, I will do my bait thingy, and Wills can do a spell thingy and well Buffy can do her thingy." She explained with a firm nod.

"But that's insane! I can't do rooms by myself! And this is an entire _Order,_ not just a _nest_! Or were you not listening as you filed you brain-oops- I mean _nails_ away?" he sneered with an wry grin.

"Ugh! You egotistical, selfish pri-…" Cordy was stopped by an odd whistle.

Everyone froze and turned to the sound of the noise. Strangely, it was Oz.

"I think it's time for you two to cool it." He says simply, before putting in his two cents worth. "I think Cordelia has a great idea. Mr. Giles and I will work the main vantage point to staking the Master of the Order, and the rest of you will be taking on the other vampires. It will be a lot, and I am sure we won't get them all; but it will be enough for tonight. We should also keep a look out for any human pets. What do you think, Mr. Giles?"

Overcoming the shock that this boy actually said something as long as he just did, he nodded his consent. Xander, however, had a look of a guppy out of water.

"I can't believe you're siding with her!" he exclaimed.

"It isn't about sides, Xander. It's about what is most effective." Oz said.

"But…it's Cordelia's idea!" he protested closely sounding like a petulant child.

"And it's most effective." Giles stated finally. Strangely enough. He added in thought.

"Fine. Let's go then." Buffy says with a smile that Xander had the lost the argument.

"Fine. But she's with you." Xander conceded in an huffy, angry voice.

"Okay." Was all Buffy said, still smiling.

Giles sighed. He wished his teenage charges would just learn to get along.

Cordelia rolled her eyes at Xander's expression. He'll get over it. She thought. Willow clapped her hands together and got everyone's attention. "So I'm, uh, supposed to do a spell." She said and looked at everyone waiting for a response. When none came, she sighed. "As in, 'gee guys, I have to do a spell. You mind telling me which one?'"

"Oh, yes. Come with me." Giles replied silently leading Willow to a cabinet filled with Spell books.

For the next thirty minutes, weapons were chosen, protector gear was put on, and the usual banter was placed on hold. Xander was more than just miffed with the idea that Cordy of all people managed to one up him. He stood by the window and looked out over the darkened horizon. Sunset was upon them, and their job has to begin. He bites a heavy sigh and settles for sagging his shoulders. Just another long day, folding into another long night. When do I get break? He wonders.

_Please…please save me, Master. I can't stay here._

Xander's head jerked left and right. Where did that voice speak from? Who was following him?

_Can you please? Please save me? _

"Alexander, are you alright?" voice wafted through Xander's consciousness.

"Huh? Oh uh yeah. I guess. Is everyone ready?" Xander deflected.

"Quite. Let us go." Giles said leading the group of teenagers out.

* * *

Angel groaned as his body was starting wake up. He hurt everywhere, he was nude, and worse was his arms were chained above his head. He couldn't move, he speak because of the soreness in his voice from his screams, all he could was wait to be released. He doesn't remember a lot of what happened thankfully. He figures he must have blacked out at some point.

A tear slips down his cheek. Where was his sire? Or rather his master? He called and called and called for him to come and save him, and he never came. Why didn't he protect him? Whatever has he done wrong to deserve being treated like this?

"Please?" he whimpered almost inaudibly. "Please save me?"


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everyone. So sorry this took so long. Thanks to all who commented and labled this one of their fave stories. Much appreciation. Only have a small section to offer, but I think you might enjoy it. Hopefully more tonight can posted.

Xangel Rocks

Angsty ;-)

The Master's Court

"We have assimilated more recruits for opening the Mouth, Master." Luke his childe said with a bow that reached the floor.

"Very good, childe. Is it the clan I told you?" he asks shifting his ugly, marred, demonic face down to him.

"Yes, Sire." Luke replied.

"Very good. We will go through with our plans in four weeks time. We, right now, have to spend this short era finding out exactly what-…"

"Still prattling along about yer grand evil plan, dear Grand Sire?" Spike mocked from the corner he was in, lighting a cigarette.

"William, how very nice of you to join our discussion." The Master said with a faked easiness.

Spike rolled his eyes at the insult of using his human name. "'m sure." He mumbled stepping away from the stoned wall, and approaching the still bowed vampire and extremely pissed off Leader. "Tell me, again, oh great one," he said with a smirk. "How does sucking the world all into our fiery deaths, serve us well. Hmm? 'M still not quite grasping it."

"Of course you wouldn't. You're a cretin with an ego too big for the entire Order." Luke snarled.

"I'm the cretin, Lukey-Boy? Obviously 'aven't looked in the mirror lately." He said with a chuckle.

Luke growled. "Never forget, boy, I am two hundred and fifty years your senior."

Spike feigned shock. "You mean that's why yer such a pathetic, old bat; that can't even block punches coming from his from minions? Gee, 'splains a lot." He chuckled.

Luke jumped up from his crouched position and nailed Spike to the stone wall.

"Well whatdya know? The old prick does still 'ave tricks. And next time ease up on the grab'n'throw. Someone might mistake your likeness of me." He smirked with lusty eyes.

"You are a disgrace to the Aurelian descendants." He growled with his gameface bared.

"Pfft. Been told that since the day big ugly, over there's _favorite" _he smirked again at Luke's angry face. "brought me home. Think it scares or even fazes me? Ye definitely need a reality check."

"YOU WILL NOT INSULT MY SIRE!" Luke roared.

"You forget, dumb fuck, he's technically my Sire as well. And let go of me, already. If ye wanted this sort of play, all ye had to do was ask." Spike leered.

Luke immediately let go and backed up with a look of disgust. "You are sickening."

"So 've been told, mate." He says while stepping back forward to the Master.

"What is it that you need, Spike?" The Master asks impatiently.

"Came down here for one reason." He looks to Luke. "And it isn't to fight'n'fuck with the Pavlov Project." He grins evilly and turns back to the Master. "My childe, Angelus…or Angel" He adds with a light snarl, "is being touched by minions. I will not allow it. And as is my right by Sire, I am asking for you, dear grandpa, to put a stop to it."

"Why do you care, Spike? You hate the boy, and treat him as if he is lower than the minions you say are breaking code. What would be the point of fixing it?" The Master points out.

"Because he is _mine_, and I will do what _I _want with him. Anyone else who touches him without me saying so first shall die." He paused and gave a deadly serious look. "And 'm sure you don't want half the Order to disappear before your Grand Opening to Hell."

The Masters sighs. "Fine. It is done."

Spike smirked. "Many thanks, my _Sire_." He gave a mocking bow and wink toward Luke before turning around. "Best be going now, kiddies. People to kill, certain someone's to fuck. You know…the usual." And with that he was gone leaving an irate Luke and annoyed Master in his wake.

"Why can I not get rid of him, Sire? He does nothing but insult us! Darla was colored a fool for bringing him home!" Luke roared.

"Hush, now." The Master replied. "Don't speak of her that way. While I will agree that Spike is a disgrace and a pain in my ass, he has done nothing yet to jeopardize our plans. So let us count ourselves lucky, and turn a blind eye to his sarcastic behavior towards us, hmm?"

Luke sighed and lowered his head. "Yes, Sire."

The Master smiled as best he could around his ugly, game faced, fangs. "Good, my childe. Now come with me to bed?"

Luke grinned evilly, "Of course."

X&A X&A X&A

Angel was almost fully asleep again, when the door swung open causing his head to jerk up then cast submissively down.

"Hello, Angelus." Spike said plopping on the end of the bed directly in front of his childe.

Angel didn't know if he should speak or wait for permission, so he remained silent.

"Enjoy your afternoon?" Spike asked with a grin only the Devil himself could compete with. "I know I did." he continued.

Angel chanced a look upwards and saw his Sire waiting for words. "No, Sire. I did not." he says and flinches, waiting for a slap that never came.

"Hmm, m'sure. Did they get you finally? That why yer tied up, pet?" he added the pet with a fake soft smile.

Angel saw the smile and heard word and sighed in relief. He wasn't being his master now, he was being a Sire. He was goin to savor it for as long as it lasted. "Yes, they did. I'm sorry, I tried to make them stop; but I couldn't."

Spike snarled and stood up, and Angel cowered down. "You belong to me, Angel. And no one else. Understand? The pleasures yer body can give're mine. Mine and mine alone. When I want to fuck you, you spread yer legs and let me have ye. When I want to beat you, you bow yer head and accept the torture. But when someone else has the audacity to touch ye, you fight them off. If they still manage to get you to a point of their control, know that Master will smell it and they will die a slow and painful death." Spike finished on another snarl.

"yes, Master." Angel said lowering his head again.

"Good. Now it's time for you to clean up."

With that Spike roughly released Angel of his confines, and left without picking him and helping him.

Angel gasped as his arms hit the floor. It josteled the broken wrist he had recieved from so much struggling. he whimpered, crawling over to bed and slowly pulling himself up. "Oh god, it hurts." he muttered with tears. He continued trying to stand, but fell to the floor again, breathing out and forcing himself not scream.

He coninues trying to breathe against the pain, and stop the freely flowing tears. "It's okay. It's okay." he reminds himself. Finally after ten minutes of trying he just lays there. Hopeless and feeling lower than pond scum.

"I just want someone to love me. Is that so wrong?" he asks the air around him, blacking out yet again.

---

Thanks for reading please comment.


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